Powerless Humans
Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim…
Do you think there is such thing like a free will? — -that humans have their own power and control over themselves? I don’t think so.
Sleep is the strongest evidence that we don’t have power or control over consciousness. You sleep when you get tired, but you don’t have any authority to decide when you are going to sleep. Of course, you might have your schedule. Go to bed at 9 PM. But when exactly did you fall asleep last night? You don’t know it at all. When I was a kid, I was so curious to see the line between being awake and sleeping. When I closed my eyes, I put my best concentration to notice the black and fog-like colors. They changed their shapes until I got very tired and woke up in the next morning. I missed to witness the border of reality and the dream world. There we are. How powerless we are in controlling our consciousness.
Dreams, an element of sleep, also shows how powerless we are as humans. It is a combination of random actors, places, and stories at the same time. Dreams would also involve people or places that are entirely new, places you’ve never visited and people you’ve never met. Who makes this dream? Our brain? Yes, but for what? Why is it so random? That shows me how powerless we are. In my life experiences, dreams could be so scary and vivid at the same time. I could even recall my worst nightmares and how they haunted me until the next few days. How strange. There was even an experience of being in a dream while our sensory ability has gone back to the real world. That was so frightening for me. I am one of those few adults who still experience nightmares.
Another thing about sleep is about how it shuts down human life at night. When the sun rises, everyone wakes up. They do their daily routine, forgetting what they were dreaming about. And then, they continue dealing with their life. Sometimes I wonder, what it would be like when I see the human life from above. Says, a city or a village. How wonderful to see a “dead village” becomes alive when the sun rises. How the silence is replaced by noise. How everything changes in a short time. It is as if the city is enchanted with magic. And we are part of the enchanted dolls or puppets. Someone is watching us from above.
Scientists have told us that sleep might just be a biological feature to give our body a chance to rest and recover. And that consciousness and dreams are just the results of neurons activities in the brain. They would also say the same thing for the explanation of emotions and its dynamic inside a human life. As a person who has a history of childhood depression, post-partum depression, and sometimes manic behavior, I found this explanation even strengthen the idea of powerless humans. What is it in me that makes me feel extreme sadness? What is it in me that makes feel easily get mad? Science might mention certain chemical compounds and material interaction to answer those questions. But dang, I have no idea what those compounds are doing inside my brain. They operate independently outside my will or consciousness.
Given how powerless we are in controlling our own consciousness, how could people be so arrogant in claiming that there is no one controlling it?